Sunday, 23 November 2003 00:00

I Am Not Rejected

Ephesians 1:6 (KJV)

He hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Hebrews 13:5 (KJV)

For He hath said, 'I will never leave thee or forsake thee.

In the Greek language there are five negatives in this verse: The force of this verse is simply: "I will not leave you, no I will not, I will not, I will not forsake you."

"Although my house be not so with God, Ye He that made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things, and sure" (II Samuel 23:5).

There are two types of rejection:

  • Overt rejection: Open or obvious behavior which conveys the message that you are unwanted or unloved.
  • Covert rejection: Subtle or uncontrollable behavior which many times conveys an unintentional message that you are rejected.

The person who has experienced rejection does not know how to receive love. Therefore he knows not how to give love. "We love Him because He first loved us" (I John 4:19-21).

FEELINGS OF REJECTION:

  1. Worthlessness: "I feel unworthy." Often, there is a cover-up, an air of superiority.
  2. Escape: "I wish I was someone else." "I wish I wasn't here." "I wish I could just quit."
  3. Depression: An internal temper tantrum.
  4. Withdrawal: Building walls to protect yourself from others; unfortunately you keep others out.
  5. Perfectionism: "If I can do it just perfect, I'll be loved and accepted."
  6. Anxiety: "fearful of rejection."
  7. Guilt: both bearing and bringing guilt.

How these emotions work themselves out:

  • Toward God and parents - Resentment
  • Toward family - Toleration rather than enjoyment
  • Toward others - Manipulation = "I'll love you based upon what you can give me in return."

Rejection is a symptom stemming from the self-centered life which is the root problem.

"He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30). "For consider Him... lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds" (Hebrews 12:3).

ACCEPTANCE

Oh, to know acceptance
In a feeling sort of way:
To be known for what I am -
Not what I do or say.
It's nice to be loved and wanted
For the person I seem to be,
But my heart cries out to be loved
For the person who is really me!

To be able to drop all the fronts
And share with another my fears,
Would bring such relief to my soul,
Though accompanied by man tears.
When I find this can be done
Without the pain of rejection,
Then will my joy be complete
And feelings toward self know correction.

The path to feeling acceptance of God
Is paved with acceptance on earth;
Being valued by others I love
Enhances my own feelings of worth.
Oh, the release and freedom He gives
As I behold His wonderful face -
As Jesus makes real my acceptance in Him,
And I learn the true meaning of grace.

A pity it is that so late we find
His love need not be earned;
As we yield to Him all manner of strife
A precious truth has been learned.
Then, as we share with others who search
For love, acceptance, and rest;
They'll find in us the Savior's love,
And experience the end of their quest.

C.R. Solomon

 

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